Burnie Stilwell

Associate Senior Associate

Burnie Stilwell has been around long enough to know that titles mean nothing and promotions are a myth. His job description is so vague it might as well read: “Do whatever management doesn’t feel like doing today.” Burnie is burned out: crispy around the edges, smoldering with resentment, but somehow still showing up. He’s not a bad guy, just perpetually pissed that years of loyalty have earned him nothing but a commemorative pizza party. Why doesn’t he leave? He knows it’s all the same clown show out there, so he sticks around, muttering wisdom between sighs and coffee refills. He’s the reluctant mentor to every wide-eyed newbie, eager to give “advice” that’s really just forewarnings. Outside of work, Burnie enjoys staring at the ceiling, calculating how many years until retirement, and giving unsolicited advice at happy hours he didn’t want to attend.